sorry, dont read if you don't want.

i'm just a little upset right now. i've been thinking a lot about my past life. and i'm thinking about my dad. not roger, my real dad. i was just thinking about the four times i saw him. once at an AA meeting unplanned, which is where i first saw him. that was on july 17th 2011. on about august 1st 2011 we met (planned) and ate dinner and spoke about how everything was going, and catching up on each other. mom was there, and this is where is started trusting him. mom saw it and told me to be careful. about 2 weeks later he took me alone out to dairy queen, and we talked about how school was going to be, about his family, and why we didn't want to know his family. we talked about roger, we talked about mom, we even talked about my brother, jeremiah. he was so nice, my real dad was. then mom started complaining. she said that he was being a jerk and not paying child support. he wasn't answering her texts, but he would answer mine. he and i would have texting conversations back and forth on holidays. my sister mother and i went to an aa new years party. he was there for a bit. and that was the last time i saw him. he's been paying child support, but he won't answer my texts or anything. i got so mad and cried and i just wanted to know what i did that was so bad that i had to be rejected by him not once, but twice. mom warned me, and i didn't listen.

mom is the only adult figure in my life anymore that i can honestly look up to. i love her.

Eric, it's not your fault. YOU are not responsible for YOUR DAD'S problems, issues, or faults. Your dad is the one who made the decision to stop contacting his son, the same son who I know, and who I am friends with, and who is a great person. The same son who deserves to be treated with respect and love, who has been through shit in life, and who shouldn't have to go through pain like that. I know you blame yourself for your dad not talking to you anymore Eric. But it's not your fault. It's his. I blamed myself too, thought "It must be my fault if my own dad isn't talking to me." But sometimes, people are screwed up. Sometimes, people suck. And people let you down. When that happens, you have to focus on what you DO have--for you that's your mother. Your dad could very well be sick in the head, as mine is. And that's nothing you cause, no fault of your own. And if he's not dealing with it--which it seems as though he's not--then that's his problem, his fault, and his loss on getting to know a great guy like you.

Eric listen. Don't feel bad about what oter assholes do. Live your life, and if you pops don't want to be around for your life then fuck him. I still haven't met my real dad, so I just say fuck him. I know it's hard, but it may be time for you to move on from him. If you need me you know all my shizz. Email, vk and vt all are functioning ways of communication.

As much as I agree with Clint and Foamy, I know it isn't as simple as "not feeling bad because someone else is being an asshole." Because the fact is, when someone is being an ass to you... it makes you feel like shit. It's perfectly normal to blame yourself, because your dad let you see the nice side of him for a while. You constructed this idea in your head, this first impression, that he was a nice guy. But the thing is, he's not. It isn't your fault for making a judgement based on his behavior, just like it isn't your fault that he is the way he is.

Remember, you have our support. And I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that we won't abandon you like your father did.

Hey dude Ive been rejected by parents 1...2....3...4...5... times !
I know It feels hard YOu have done absoulty NOTHING wrong .
It was a bad call on his part to mess up like he did .. Just like I can't go back to my parents unfortunalty you might not either ..
The seven stages of Grief (these can go in any order and can repeat FOREVER)
Shock and Denial.
Pain and guilt
Anger and Bargining
"DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
(THE cycle stops repeating here and can be SLOW )
THE UPWARD TURN-
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
no matter where you are It can always Turn out .
I can guide you through these things and I have felt all these things and more If you really ever need to talk to me I'm here.

what a great post dixon. thank you so much <3