my "dad"

so, in case anyone doesn't know.. my father has cancer. or maybe he doesn't. They honestly don't know. He starts his treatments Tuesday. These could be dangerous for him.

So, I was thinking about having him adopt me, because for those who don't know, Roger Lee is not my real dad. Some reasons why I should have him adopt me.... (don't judge....)

-Well, we love each other and aren't afraid to show it.
-This way there is closure.
-I do get money for college and stuff if he dies soon.
-I would be more than glad to have him as my legal father.


Reasons we shouldn't...
-Then my real dad Art gets out of paying his 75,000 dollars that he has never ever paid for child support.
-We are practically already father and son, so would the paper make the difference?
-I don't know how to bring it up to him.
-I don't think my mom wants people knowing that she had me with some random dude.

____________________________________________________________________________

So what are your guys thoughts?

i really dont know, but if you love each other, you should be together. So, i think that you should be adopted

but still, will a paper do much damage, besides all the money when he dies?

eric i honestly don't think you have to be legally adopted by him. You are his son no matter what. you have been his son forever and papers wont change that. I know that it would make u feel better if you were legally his son, but im not sure what good that would actually do. because maybe Art will come to conclusions (sooner or later) and pay his child support. and that could help out your family a whole bunch.
And plus, im not sure if it costs money to be legally adopted.... and it might be expensive... and i know ur family is tight on money. So i just say, hey, you guys already think of eachother as father and son, so whats a paper gonna do.

Thanks Sarah.

Oh, and by the way, Mom went to the prosecuting officer the other day, so we will be receiving child support from Art.

And we are exempted from all of the taxes on the land, because of dad's disability and because of his military involvment.

From what you have put, Roger Lee IS your dad, he feeds you, comforts you, puts clothes on your back, food in your belly, looks after you when your sick, and most importantly, LOVES YOU! If Roger is married to your mother, then she will be entitiled to any financial reward if he dies. Adoption is expensive there, so can your family afford the financial burdon it would bring on your already tight budget?

A father is someone whos sperm fertilizes an egg to produce a baby/

Deirdre wrote:
-Well, we love each other and aren't afraid to show it.
-This way there is closure.
-I do get money for college and stuff if he dies soon.
-I would be more than glad to have him as my legal father.


Reasons we shouldn't...
-Then my real dad Art gets out of paying his 75,000 dollars that he has never ever paid for child support.
-We are practically already father and son, so would the paper make the difference?
-I don't know how to bring it up to him.
-I don't think my mom wants people knowing that she had me with some random dude.

Well you love each other.
You would want him to be your legal father
You get closure but by how much really? you will always wonder about your biological father.In the event that this man became your father and he did pass away it could give you closure but it could hurt even more.
As for the college money you need to take that out the equation because that's a maybe to start with and you cannot let this cloud your mind.

As for the 75thousand $ are you getting closure by having this always in your mind. Also if you really want this other man to adopt you then you should be able to put by this aspect.
The paper makes it official but if you love each other and cannot get over the 75thousand $ aspect then this may be your best bet on what to do because that means that this Art guy would still have to pay, however, if he is not making payments then I don't think it would matter as he ain't paying for it in the first place.
As for bringing it up then you just need to move up and ask him straight. It's the only way.
The last thing is something you need to discuss with your mum.

Hope this helps Eric. You should do what you feel is right however you need to overcome certain feelings in order to make the right choice.