Jokes
+3
Jess
KarmaChameleon
Short Circuit
7 posters
Page 1 of 1
Jokes
by Short Circuit Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:34 am
I read that smoking was bad for your health, so I gave up smoking
I read that drinking alcohol was bad for your health, so I gave up alcohol
I read that drugs were bad for your health, so I gave up drugs
I read that having sex was bad for your health, so I gave up reading!
I read that drinking alcohol was bad for your health, so I gave up alcohol
I read that drugs were bad for your health, so I gave up drugs
I read that having sex was bad for your health, so I gave up reading!
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
KarmaChameleon- Head Administrator
- Posts : 3680
Re: Jokes
by Short Circuit Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:44 am
What did one cow say to the horse?
MOOVE OVER
The horse replied "Nayyyyy chance"
MOOVE OVER
The horse replied "Nayyyyy chance"
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Thanksgiving
by Short Circuit Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:51 pm
THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY ON THANKSGIVING!!!
01. Talk about a huge breast!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. ...
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one
terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. Are you
ready for seconds yet?
08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat
it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff
it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at
once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a
little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it
in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I
could handle all of that!
01. Talk about a huge breast!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. ...
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one
terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. Are you
ready for seconds yet?
08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat
it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff
it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at
once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a
little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it
in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I
could handle all of that!
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Re: Jokes
by Short Circuit Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:13 am
Mr
Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They
got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with
the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts"
he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her
Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a
Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy
centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch.Turns out
Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got Allsorts
Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They
got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with
the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts"
he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her
Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a
Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy
centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch.Turns out
Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got Allsorts
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Weather Warning!
by Short Circuit Fri Nov 25, 2011 10:48 am
Snow is like a cock, it is measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when
you least expect it, can get hard the more you handle it and it never
gets as deep as you'd like it......
....Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down
and pay attention, you could slide into the asshole in front of you!!!!
BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER !!!!!
you least expect it, can get hard the more you handle it and it never
gets as deep as you'd like it......
....Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down
and pay attention, you could slide into the asshole in front of you!!!!
BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER !!!!!
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Re: Jokes
by KarmaChameleon Fri Nov 25, 2011 12:44 pm
I'm moving it to the general discussion, so that it will not be argued about.
KarmaChameleon- Head Administrator
- Posts : 3680
Re: Jokes
by Guest Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:07 pm
Since we still add jokes to this and now that we are using fun zone I am going to move this to the fun zone
Guest- Guest
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Having a bad day?
by Short Circuit Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:34 am
A
guy is at the bar, just staring at his drink, when a big truck driver
steps up next to him, takes the guy's drink, and gulps it down. The guy
starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on, man, I was just fucking
around. Here, I'll buy you another drink. For Christ sakes, don't cry."
The guy says, "You don't understand. This has been the worst day of my
life. First, I sleep late, and when I
get to my office, my boss fires me. When I get to the parking lot, I
find out my car is stolen. I get a cab home, and when I get there, I
remember I left my wallet and credit cards in my desk at work. The cab
driver doesn't believe me, and kicks my ass. When I finally go in the
house, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. So I come to this bar,
and just when I'm thinking about ending it all, you show up and drink my
poison.
guy is at the bar, just staring at his drink, when a big truck driver
steps up next to him, takes the guy's drink, and gulps it down. The guy
starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on, man, I was just fucking
around. Here, I'll buy you another drink. For Christ sakes, don't cry."
The guy says, "You don't understand. This has been the worst day of my
life. First, I sleep late, and when I
get to my office, my boss fires me. When I get to the parking lot, I
find out my car is stolen. I get a cab home, and when I get there, I
remember I left my wallet and credit cards in my desk at work. The cab
driver doesn't believe me, and kicks my ass. When I finally go in the
house, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. So I come to this bar,
and just when I'm thinking about ending it all, you show up and drink my
poison.
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Re: Jokes
by Alexandra Wed Dec 21, 2011 2:37 pm
There was Jesus, a priest and Chuck Norris in a boat. Jesus gets up out of the boat and walks across the water to dry land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest gets out of the boat and immediately drowns. Jesus turned to Chuck Norris and asks: "Should we have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris goes: "What rocks?"
Alexandra- 100 posts!
- Posts : 145
Re: Jokes
by Ninja Yellow Monkey Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:22 pm
What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?
Santa Clause only has 3 Ho's!!!
Santa Clause only has 3 Ho's!!!
Ninja Yellow Monkey- 1000 posts!
- Posts : 1060
Underwear
by Short Circuit Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:13 am
I went to the shops today and got some briefs that are made by the rock star Meatloaf.
On the front it says "I would do anything for love"
On the rear it says "But I wont do that!"
On the front it says "I would do anything for love"
On the rear it says "But I wont do that!"
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
WHAT AM I???
by Brian Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:00 pm
This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 8 inches long. The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action.
It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is quickly inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.
When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What AM I
It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is quickly inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.
When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What AM I
Brian- 50 posts!
- Posts : 89
Re: Jokes
by pugsmonster Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:30 pm
Bob: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."
Bill: "Why is that?"
Bob: "I've been screwing his wife."
Bill: "Why is that?"
Bob: "I've been screwing his wife."
pugsmonster- 25 posts!
- Posts : 39
Re: Jokes
by Brian Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:40 pm
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAa
Brian- 50 posts!
- Posts : 89
Re: Jokes
by Short Circuit Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:30 am
Mum and dad searched my bedroom yesterday, and they found my stash of S&M magazines. Mum says to dad, "What are we going to do about this?" Dad replied, "Whatever you do, you should not put him over your knee and smack his bottom!"
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
MSN
by Short Circuit Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:43 pm
Got a request on MSN, guy says hi I am 8 1/2 inches, so I put, "Sorry, I dont want to be friends with a midget!"
Short Circuit- Retired Administrator
- Posts : 2386
Re: Jokes
by Guest Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:41 pm
Brian wrote:This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 8 inches long. The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action.
It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is quickly inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.
When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What AM I
Toothbrush?
Guest- Guest
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