I can't do this.

Some of you know about my mother.
Well, today was particularly bad. I can't sleep. No amount of cutting is good enough. I almost killed myself this morning. We've fought three times. I snapped and was a bitch to her. I don't think I can keep on living, lord knows it's a challenge to keep on breathing.

I'm the world's shittiest daughter. And she doesn't have any idea what you're supposed to do with a child who self-harms... so she's doing everything wrong. Just like she always does when it comes to raising a kid.
I mean, step 1 is don't be an abusive alcoholic. I guess she dropped the ball on that one a little...

Alex, listen.

You CAN do this. I'll reply better when I get back from school, but trust me. I know that you are better than this and I know that you can keep your life together. Just because you and your mother had a few bad arguments doesn't mean it's over. She loves you. Trust me.

edit- listen alex you are strong. you can do it, i know that you can be better than what you think.fighting is rough, especially when it comes to parents and fighting cuz somehow we are always in the wrong at the end of the conversation. just know i love you and i have faith in you

Thank you for your kind words, but what on earth makes you think she loves me?

She loves Becuase she decided to give birth to for one
What mother hates their own child if they hated you do you think she would use her preisous time on you and nothing else
Ive seen mothers leave their children just like that bam just leave them without coming back

Now think Does she Love you Or Hate you
You Decide what she does
Its your Life make the most of it....

Unknown Soldier wrote:She loves Becuase she decided to give birth to for one
What mother hates their own child if they hated you do you think she would use her preisous time on you and nothing else
Ive seen mothers leave their children just like that bam just leave them without coming back

Now think Does she Love you Or Hate you
You Decide what she does
Its your Life make the most of it....

Wow, you know absolutely nothing about my mother if you think that's the case. She decided to give birth to me 16 years ago. She was young and stupid. "What mother hates their own child?" Mine does. And it sure as hell isn't as simple as "making the most of it." It's called depression.

Listen to me Alex. I know how it is to feel like all you are is a bother. To feel like no matter what you're the worst thing that ever happened. My mom had me at a young age too. And she usually tended to treat me as more of a friend than a daughter. That really affected our relationship once she tried to act like a mother. We fought on a constant basis. I believed she hated me. Heck I said I know she hates me. But it turns out I was completely wrong. She does love me. We just didn't know how to deal with each other when things we difficult. When my mom got back with my dead beat father they argued on a regular basis and I would have to scream at them to break it up. I had a difficult time. I had depression and I began self-harming. I still have depression but my mom recently got married and has been a lot happier. Don't get me wrong we still argue but it isn't as bad. Trust me things may seem bad right now but they will get better. Sorry if it seems like I'm writing a story just getting all my thoughts out. Your mom loves you. She just doesn't know how to show it.